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The Blame Game

December 4, 2012 by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan Leave a Comment

My dear mommy friends, I need your insights. Lately, I’ve noticed that my 6-year old has started making up stories, stretching the truth, and hiding the truth to avoid getting into trouble.

It started a few months ago when his teacher talked to me after class as I was picking him up. She informed me that he had to be moved to a different seat because he and his seatmate would talk to each other a lot during class. When I asked him about this, he said it was the other boy who kept talking to him, that’s why they were separated. This was the first time that my attention was called, and it was over a small behavioral issue, so I just let it slide.

Last week, there was a note in his assignment notebook from the teacher asking that we remind the kiddo to refrain from shouting, especially when he gets excited over something. When I asked him about this, he told me that he was trying to stop his classmate from running. Since his classmate was already farther down the hall than he was, he had to shout so the other kid would hear him. I explained to him that disciplining his classmates is not his responsibility, and that he should just let his teacher deal with situations like that so that he doesn’t get in trouble too.

Yesterday, when we picked him up from school, the little guy tolm my mom and I that he wasn’t able to finish a seatwork in class because there wasn’t enough time. I asked if the other kids were able to finish, and he said that some of them did. He named some names of kids who supposedly didn’t finish either. I asked what happened, and why he didn’t finish. He told me again that there wasn’t enough time. I then asked how come the others finished and he didn’t. I wanted to find out what happened to him. He eventually told me that a classmate was talking and talking, and that he got annoyed and told her to be quiet. That’s why he didn’t finish.

I knew there was something fishy with his explanation so I suggested that maybe he was talking to his seatmate too, which was why she kept talking to him. Of course, I was right. Sorry little guy, mommy’s been there and done that.

Again, that same afternoon, he told me a story of how someone might have put pressure on his eye, and that it hurt a little. I get really upset when kids play too rough and end up hurting each other, so I asked what he was doing when this happened. He immediately changed his story and said he was the one who put pressure on his eye, not someone else. And he said it was because the teacher asked them to put their heads on the table and he pressed his head down on his arm too hard. Honestly, I’m not sure which parts of this story are true, and which ones are made up.

That afternoon got me thinking about the times he had gotten into some sort of trouble, big or small. Like if a pencil was missing, he’d say that someone borrowed it and never gave it back. Or if he didn’t write his homework for the day properly, he’d say that someone was distracting him while he was copying off the board. I talked to my mom about this, since she witnessed our discussion after school, and her take on it is that maybe it’s his way of covering his butt.

This strikes a negative chord on me for two reasons – one, he has started telling white lies, and two, he is playing the blame game. I don’t know if he does the same thing with other people, but I’m sure he’s pulled a white lie on me more than once. I understand his need to cover his butt, and that he doesn’t want to get into trouble, but I am pretty upset that he does it by fibbing and the making up stories. I especially don’t like the fact that he blames people for things.

What do I do? He’s an only child, so it’s pretty hard getting him to understand these things without us being able to point out actual instances with another kid. We do try to practice what we preach at home, and really do our best to set good examples.

I wrote a note to his teacher asking why he wasn’t able to finish his work, and if he was the only one. Maybe she can shed some light on what goes on inside the classroom.

Meanwhile, any advice from mommies out there with older kids, or with kids of the same age? Is this normal? What can we do as parents to right these wrongs? Is it our fault? Help! Please, someone enlighten me.

Much love and happiness,

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Filed Under: Motherhood

Homework Chronicles

November 21, 2012 by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan Leave a Comment

One thing I am glad I can be hands-on with now as a WAHM is schoolwork. I’ll tell you a secret. There’s always been a little dork hidden inside of me. When I was little, my mom used to make reviewers for us when it was exam time. As we got older, she stopped doing this since we were already capable of studying on our own. When that happened, I started making my own reviewers. Now, as a mom, I’m really very diligent in making reviewers for my little boy’s midterm exams and final exams. I also make sure to do homework with him every afternoon after class. Then we practice reading, spelling and writing. I really want him to enjoy reviewing, and so I try my best to make the process fun for him. Luckily, he is receptive to my efforts, and he picks up fast.

I recently discovered that many parents choose to have a tutor rather than do homework and study with their kids themselves. I know one mom who says she just absolutely does not have the patience for it. I thought the same of myself too when I was working, and it’s been a pleasant surprise discovering that I can actually do it. I’m thinking about maybe sharing some of our reviewers on my blog. I wonder if that will actually be of help to anyone. There’s no harm in trying though, and I really do enjoy making them. I’m no homeschooling mom, and some of the reviewers are really simple, but still, they might be of help. So maybe I should. What do you guys think?

Homework time!

Much love and happiness,

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Filed Under: Motherhood

Halloween 2012: Finn and Jake Take Ayala Alabang

November 1, 2012 by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan Leave a Comment

The plan was that Mr C would be Jake the Dog, TLC would be Finn the Human, and I’d get to be Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time for Halloween this year. But since Mr C had work and would be missing the trick or treat schedule in our village, we shuffled the roles around and enlisted the participation of my brother, TLC’s Ninong (Godfather) Boyong. Luckily, he loves the color purple and so he willingly took on the role of LSP. Meanwhile, I was able to put my yellow maxi dress to good use as Jake the Dog, and TLC still got to be Finn.

Finn the Human
Jake the Dog and Finn the Human
LSP, Jake and Finn

[Read more…] about Halloween 2012: Finn and Jake Take Ayala Alabang

Filed Under: Motherhood

Who Are You Gonna Be For Halloween?

October 29, 2012 by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan Leave a Comment

The best thing about being a family is dressing up as a group for Halloween! This is the first year that we’re actually matching our costumes, and I think we will continue to do this over the next few years.

While most moms out there opt to make their own family costumes, I, being artistically impaired, choose to buy pre-made. Of course, I’ve always preferred the nice DIY costumes over the store bought ones, particularly since my mom and my brother are both extremely artistic and have been making great costumes for as long as I can remember. Alas, I have virtually no visual creativity. I do try sometimes, but I’ve always been better off just buying.

I didn’t think I’d be able to find what we needed this year, but thanks to a little online shop called Hatah Hatah, my little boy will actually be dressed like the character he is supposed to be. Are you guys familiar with Adventure Time?

Finn the Human
Jake the Dog for Mr C

I’ll be Lumpy Space Princess

Happy kids!

Sorry for the ugly photos, I only used my webcam to take these. I’ll definitely have better pictures to post after Halloween. Maybe next year I’ll try to make our costumes myself. I still have a year to plan. Or maybe not. Let’s just wait and see!

Who are you gonna be for Halloween?

Much love and happiness,

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Filed Under: Motherhood

Conversations with TLC vol.1

October 20, 2012 by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan Leave a Comment

Over lunch on a Thursday afternoon…

TLC: Mommy, since there’s no school tomorrow, it’s like this is a long weekend right?

ME: Yup.

TLC: Ok. Because I’m thinking maybe I can play video games.

ME: Ok, sure.

TLC: Yay! I wanna hug you! But not because of the video games ok? Because I love you.

LOL. If you say so little boy. And I love you too, even though I know you really want to hug mommy because I said yes to video games.

Much love and happiness

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Filed Under: Motherhood

Giving Birth Without Realizing It Was Time, Or How I Became A Mommy

September 20, 2012 by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan Leave a Comment

Giving birth is interesting, to say the least, when you have your dad and your uncle as doctors. Mine is a simple, but amusing birth story – planned, painless and completely documented. Yes, we have it on video, and from the point of view of the doctors delivering the baby, no less. I’d share it, but it’s a little on the explicit side.

I was scheduled to give birth on a Thursday. As my due date drew nearer, we realized that I would be giving birth on Holy Thursday, possibly even on Good Friday. My anesthesiologist, also known as dad, declared that no one wanted to be in the hospital on Good Friday. I suppose he spoke to my OB-Gyn, otherwise known as Tito (Uncle) Pete, about this. They decided together to schedule my labor on Monday that week, a few days earlier than the original date. Once they had made all the arrangements, they decided to tell me. Yes, my doctors conspired behind my back, and I was the last to know. But that’s okay because dad was right, no one wants to be in the hospital on Good Friday.

About to pop!

[Read more…] about Giving Birth Without Realizing It Was Time, Or How I Became A Mommy

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: Birth Story, Cleanbirth.org

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Hi, I'm MrsC, a happy wife and mom, a help-less but not helpless homemaker, who is learning to live simply in this complicated world.

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