Raising a family, making a home.
I have two questions for you guys. One, did your parents ever cut your hair when you were little? And two, do you cut your child’s hair?
My answers are one, yes and two, no. I have this theory that the two experiences are directly linked to one another. Please, feel free to correct me if you think that I’m wrong.
Last week, I attended a seminar at my little boy’s school. This was sponsored and facilitated by Scholastic, a publisher known for its quality reading and educational materials and programs.
I got really excited when I received the memo announcing the session, which was about helping your child develop good study habits and how technology affects literacy in kids. Mr.C and I both see our son’s education as a priority investment, and we are both very much involved in his learning.
We handle homework and study time ourselves, we make sure to attend important school activities, and I also volunteer often with the Parents Association. I can really see how all this pays off each time we receive the little guy’s report card. It’s good to know that we have been doing something right.
Our facilitator that day, Ms Tina Calderon, shared that she read online that after Gen X and Y, our kids are now “Generation AATK (Always At The Keyboard)”. This is extra true for us now, since at Little Mr.C’s grade level, traditional books have been replaced by digital ones on an iPad.
We make sure, though, that the iPad is used primarily for learning. He does get to play games on it, but that is the exception rather than the norm. It’s been tough implementing these rules, but it’s certainly worth it. My son is more alert and attentive, and definitely less moody, when he isn’t video game zombified.
One of the key takeaways that I got from the seminar was that kids have varied learning styles, and in order to really be able to work effectively with your child, you should first identify how he or she learns.
Kids who are visual learners learn by watching. When they try to remember things, they usually do so by recalling images from the past. When they need to accomplish things, they tend to picture the way the finished product or the process should look like in their heads.
On the other hand, there are children who learn by listening. These auditory learners remember facts and understand instructions better when these are explained to them. One characteristic of an auditory learner is a child who spells phonetically, or based on the way the words sound. An effective learning tool to use for auditory learners is mnemonics, like ROYGBIV for the colors of the rainbow and PEMDAS (or Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally) for the proper order of mathematical operations.
Finally, there are kinesthetic learners, or those who learn by doing. Movement and manipulation stimulate these children, and they like to find out how things work. These kinds of kids are often more interested and successful in practical arts such as design and carpentry.
I think that Little MrC is an auditory learner. Based on experience, studying has been smooth sailing for us whenever we discuss the lessons learned for the day. He is also able to memorize things better when he hears them over and over. I actually started to notice that when he would begin singing songs that we never really taught him, but he would hear a lot at home or during car rides.
Mnemonics actually worked very well for me growing up, too, so I think I may also be an auditory learner myself. Knowing that the kiddo and I learn the same way actually helps me figure out how to make our study time more effective and pleasant for us both.
I immediately saw how helpful this seminar would be, right off the bat, and have been applying all that I’ve learned ever since. Hopefully these bits of information prove to be helpful for you guys too.
Do you know your child’s learning style? Care to share any useful study tips?
Hi there. Could you please do me a favor and re-read the post title in your best Darth Vader voice? Done? Great, thanks!
So yes, Tristan is my son, and I am his mother. To me, this means that there is a good chance that bits and pieces of my little old self will manifest in this awesome little boy. Actually, I think I already see a lot of myself in him, although for the most part I still see him as MrC’s mini me more than anything. And that is why I call him Little MrC. Makes sense?
This boy is growing up in the same environment I grew up in. He is even going to the same school I went to. He is able to enjoy a lot of the things that I once enjoyed as a little girl. He seems to react to a lot of situations the way that I do too, and that leads me to the assumption that he may someday have to cross the same bridges that I had to cross on my journey to adulthood.
I must make it clear that I had a wonderful childhood, but as it is with life, it wasn’t without hurdles and struggles. Some challenges which felt monumental back then seem quite ridiculous now, looking back, but of course that’s because I’ve already learned my lessons as far as those issues are concerned. I know that pretty soon I will be reliving those challenges, this time from the other side, as a parent, and I will have to watch my son struggle through them in order for him to learn his life lessons too.
Since I have 23 years on this little guy, I would like to think that I’m generally more seasoned and mature, and therefore qualified to dispense advice. This holds particularly true for matters that I experienced growing up that he may also someday face. Of course, I know that it won’t always be exactly the same, specially since he is a boy and I am obviously a girl. Nevertheless, I know that my words of wisdom may come in handy someday. That is, after all, part of my job description as is mom.
As a mom, I am also filled with much hope, many dreams and countless fears as far as this little boy is concerned. As he gets older, I see that slowly but surely his little protective baby cloud is fading away, and he is becoming more and more exposed to the reality of life. He now understands and sees more things, and in effect he feels more too. I actually shared about a bad morning that he and I had a few weeks ago on my latest post on World Moms Blog. That was a real eye-opening experience, as prior to that, I didn’t realize that he was already capable of having bad mornings and bad days the way that big people do. Yup, I saw a little bit more of the baby cloud fade away right there.
That scares me, and I know that it scares him too, even just a little bit. My first impulse is to try to shield him from what’s out there, try to somewhat mend that baby cloud and keep his innocence intact for as long as I still can. Then I realized that by doing that, I may actually be working backwards and not propelling us forward, that I might be messing with his maturing process, and robbing him of valuable lessons that he can and must learn on his own from here on out.
So, even if it’s hard to let go, I am trying to, little by little, as best I can. I am letting him see, hear, feel and experience the world as it really is, slowly but surely, little by little. It’s his turn to explore. I fear that all of these things will overwhelm him, that he will be negatively influenced, that he will get hurt because he doesn’t yet know what he’s about to come face to face with. But I also know that unless I allow him to take that first step, to venture out, then he may never know. I’ve lived a rather sheltered life and I know how being naive affected me negatively growing up. I wouldn’t be doing my job as his parent by knowing this, and yet allowing him to go through life naive as well.
So instead, I would like to try to channel my fears into hopes, because I am optimistic that way. I hope that he will heed my advice when the time comes. I hope that life goes easy on him. I hope that he learns to find joy in every little thing. And of course, my biggest hope of all is that he grows up to be an amazing young man, someone that people will trust and love, someone who is sure of himself, someone who stands up for what he believes in and fights for what he is passionate about, someone who is capable of facing his fears, of overcoming obstacles, and of making a difference.
I hope that someday, when he is a man grown and I am old and moldy, he will tell me over brunch that he has successfully chased after his dreams, and that finally, all he ever wished for is right at the palm of his hands. From today until that day comes, I will continue to be Tristan’s mom, his number one fan and his fiercest critic, his most loyal adviser and his best-est friend. And when that brunch moment happens, on that day that I already foresee will be beautiful, I know that I will hold all of my fulfilled dreams in my hands as well.
PS This is my homework post for Write On Mom, a workshop for moms who blog which I attended last weekend. I’ll be posting about the session soon. Need to
steal borrow photos first. Lol.
Communication is essential in any relationship. It would obviously be very difficult to understand each other and live harmoniously together is if we aren’t able to effectively relay to others what it is we want to say. One of the most difficult things to do is to effectively talk to your young children in a way that they will surely understand and listen. Many mommies struggle with this challenge. I know I have, and still do, even though my child is now six years old and has amazing comprehension skills. I guess sometimes it’s not just the listener, but also the person speaking who should learn to adjust in order to be able to ensure that his or her message is clear.
The good news is, Optimommy and Manila Workshops have put together a one-day workshop to address this issue, and teach parents how to communicate effectively with their children. The workshop is called “Yes Mommy: How to Talk so your Child will Listen and Understand”
About the Yes Mommy Workshop
At “Yes Mommy” we’ll talk about practical tips and tools to build a foundation of good communication with our young children. Topics include:
“Yes Mommy” is called a workshop. But Optimommy, Jayme, sees it as really more of a sharing session where moms can connect with other moms, you can feel safe to share what we know and don’t know, and you can have comfort knowing that we are not alone in this parenting journey. After “Yes Mommy”, you ca expect to gain:
Here are the EVENT DETAILS and RATES:
Date: Saturday, December 15, 2012 Time: 9:00 am to 4:45 pm
Venue: COWO – Ground Floor, Suntree Tower, #27 Sapphire Road, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
Regular Rate of Php 1,400 / participant
Early Bird Rate of Php 1,200 / participant (PAID before Dec. 1, 2012 or via Okayokay.com until Dec. 10)
Group Discount of Php 1,000 for 3 or more participants
*Lunch and afternoon snack are included
*Payment may be via Okayokay.com or deposit to a UnionBank or BPI Account or via Paypal (Please add Php 50 for Paypal charges).
Since it’s almost Christmas, Optimommy and I would like to treat all of the readers of Mrs C’s Sugarcoated Life to a special discounted rate on this workshop. If you sign up using my promo code OptimommyPATTY, you get a 50% discount on the registration fee. That means you’ll only need to pay Php500 to join this fabulous workshop! Isn’t that wonderful?
Join now! All you have to do is sign up through this form. Don’t forget to use the Promo Code OptimommyPATTY to get the discount!
Much love and happiness,
Today is Day Four of Funemployment. Right now, I’m waiting for our rice cooker to tell me that the rice is cooked.
It’s been a fun four days so far, mostly spent with family, doing fun, family things including a Videoke showdown, Monopoly Deal challenge, and XBox Olympics. I’ve also read halfway through The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and a few chapters of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I’m still getting used to digital reading. I enjoy the feel of flipping a real piece of paper more than swiping my finger on a touch screen to go to the next page. But I like how light my bag is sans my Dragon Tattoo book, which now has a new place on my bedside table. It’s place in my purse has been taken by Benjamin Button, and all his other friends in my Kindle library. I am now in search for the perfect case, and if anyone can tell me where to get one in Manila, I will love you a whole lot more than I already do now.
Tomorrow, I will be doing my first big project as a freelance writer. It’s something I started on while still employed, one of my live continuity writing gigs. But this is the first time I will be joining an event post employment. It will be a lot of fun for sure, and I’m very excited about doing something serious and adult.
Mr C and I have been preparing some of the kiddo’s baby stuff to be passed on to our cousins who are new parents. We’re lucky that we got practically everything we needed from our baby shower, and I can’t stress enough how choosing to have a gift registry was our key to success.We managed to take good care of most of our things, and so we are now able to share them with relatives and friends in need, instead of them having to buy new stuff. I’m happy that the kiddo’s cousins will get to make their own memories with the stuff we used and loved ourselves over the years – our stroller, car seat, high chair, playpen, electric sterilizer and food warmer, and an assortment of toys and clothes.This evening over dinner, we were enumerating the things that Mr C will be turning over to one of his cousins this week, when I remembered that I had loaned my breast pump to a friend. The mere mention of my breast pump got everyone laughing, remembering the difficult time we all while I was breastfeeding.
The kiddo was one of those babies who never really learned how to drink milk straight from mommy. At first I thought it might have been because I was doing it wrong, specially since one of my friends who gave birth about the same time as I did was breastfeeding practically every hour and without any difficulty. I realize now that some kids just never really learn to latch on, and I remember that my mom had the same problem with my sister when she was a baby. Despite the fact that he didn’t quite get how to suck, I was determined to give the kiddo breast milk, and so I spent a good part of my first days as a new mom attached to a breast pump.
I got myself a trusty Pigeon electric breast pump, and I remember my mom telling me how lucky I was that they actually made motorized ones already, coz back in the day it was manual and a lot more difficult. I also had a manual pump, but I really preferred to use the electric one since it made life a whole lot easier. Still, even though this was supposedly the easy way, it was very difficult just filling up a 4oz bottle, and I really wished that the kiddo had just learned to take the milk straight from me. That would have been a whole lot better compared to my routine of sterilizing bottles, pumping and storing milk, then warming the bottles up each and every time he got hungry. Lucky for me, everyone in our household helped out, and so breastfeeding was literally a struggle for all of us.
Mr C cracked a joke during our conversation earlier that my poor breast pump was completely overworked, like a small generator trying to power an entire building. I suddenly remembered the day that Pigeon breast pump broke down and just stopped working. It made one last low hum before it died completely, and so began my excruciating experience of manual milk pumping. And oh my goodness, how tough it was. My hand eventually cramped up in the middle of the day from squeezing that crazy little pump, and I had to ask for help. Throughout the course of that afternoon and evening, both my mom and Mr C had a chance to work that pretty pink breast pump, just so we could come out with enough milk to feed out little kiddo. We were so exhausted by the end of that day that the following morning, my mom went to the store and bought me a brand new Pigeon electric pump.
After only five weeks, I stopped producing milk, I guess because my glands weren’t getting any actual stimulation from the baby. Meanwhile, my happily breastfeeding friend was able to get by on just breast milk until her daughter was two years old. How I wish things could have been the same for us. It would have saved us a lot of money, as the discovery that baby formula was impossibly expensive was our next parenting challenge. We learned a lot in our first three months as parents, and I’m really hoping that when we have our next baby, we get to nail this breast feeding challenge already. When that will be, I really can’t say. One thing’s for sure, it won’t be any time soon.