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Feature Article: Pre Wedding Day Etiquette Tips for the Bride and Groom

As the wedding and its participants have moved into the twenty-first century a lot of traditions have gone out the window.  Modern brides want to be seen as just that- Modern.  Non-traditional.  Unique.  They don’t want the stuffy weddings of the past.
As tradition has faded, so have strong feelings about etiquette, but there are still a few things that make Emily Post cringe!
Bridal Showers and Guest Invitations  Any guest you intend to invite to a bridal shower should also be invited to the wedding.  An invitation to a bridal shower implies an invitation to the wedding, so it would be rude to ask a guest to bring a gift to the shower and then not extend an invite to the wedding itself.  Exception: Work colleagues who offer to throw a shower for you after you’ve already explained that the guest list is limited to family and close friends.  If someone offers to throw a shower and know the intended guest list isn’t invited to the wedding, then it is okay to accept the shower.
Cash Bar: A big NO NO!  I realize you are spending a lot of money on this day and a cash bar looks like an easy way to cut costs, but imagine how you’d feel if you bought a plane ticket, booked a hotel room, purchased a new outfit, and picked out the perfect gift to attend a wedding and then once you got there you found out you had to pay for your drinks as well!  To save costs, consider not serving liquor and only offering beer and wine, or only offering alcohol during cocktail hour and then for the first hour after the meal.
Thank You Notes   For bridal shower/bachelorette gifts send your thank you notes within one month.  Send a thank you to EVERY person who gave you a gift.  Yes, even your mother and your sister.  For gifts received on the wedding weekend, time is a little more flexible.  Send your notes within two to three months.
Bridal Party   Once you’ve asked someone to stand up for you as a bridesmaid or groomsman, it’s an absolute “No” to un-ask an attendant who has accepted the position.  It is certainly okay for a person to decline the role, and you should never make anyone feel obligated to be a member of the bridal party.
Registry  Registry information should Never, NEVER go on an invitation or save-the-date.  Tell your bridal party and close family members where you are registered and they can help spread the word.  It is also okay to put your registry info on a wedding website and you can direct guests to the website on your stationary.  Just don’t put “Find registry information on our website!”  It is acceptable to have registry information listed on a bridal shower invitation for a couple of reasons.  1- You, the person receiving the gifts, are not hosting the party and 2- people know the purpose of a shower is to give gifts, so asking for gifts on the invite isn’t considered rude.
I hope these etiquette tips help as you navigate through the world of wedding planning, and if you ever get confused just ask yourself, “If I were a guest, would this make me uncomfortable?”
Blissfully Yours,
P.S. Stressed out planning your wedding?
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© 2005-2012 Samantha Dockery, Bliss By Sam Weddings and Occasions Planners
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Samantha Dockery is the owner of Bliss by Sam Weddings and Occasions, a premier wedding and event planning company. Get your {FREE} e-guide “10 Planner Secrets Every Busy Bride Must Know To Save Time & Money” at www.blissbysam.com.
Samantha Dockery
Chicago: One Superior Place, Chicago, IL 60654, USA, 312.465.2295
Durham: 1003 Lamond Avenue, Durham, NC 27701, USA, 919.949.5748



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