Everyday Life

And so it is…

I always said that if I ever got pregnant again, I’d quit my job. I remember my first pregnancy, how lazy I was, how irritable, how all I wanted to do was eat, sleep and watch TV. I know how I can get, and I have absolutely no intention of making myself suffer through a 9-hour work day, cooped up in an office under those circumstances. It’s probably best for those around me too, as I’d be sensitive about smells, food, cleanliness, and I’d basically nitpick on everything. In an extra bratty way.

When I left Smart a little over a year ago, I didn’t expect I’d be going through the same emotional struggle of leaving for at least another two years. Guess I was wrong, as I now find myself facing my last 3 weeks at Filinvest. I am choosing to take the road less traveled, and will officially brand myself as a Work-At-Home-Mom and a Mompreneur by May 20. The choice to pursue this career path is largely my own, influenced by many different factors, the obvious being the need and desire for me to be more hands-on in raising the little guy. I’d also like to give my mom her freedom back. Super Lola has been the primary caregiver of my little bundle of joy for the past five years, and I think it’s time I took him off her hands. After all, she already gave up 29 years of her life for us, raising my siblings and I without yayas, managing our household, and feeding us well (as my waistline will prove). It’s time for her to have more time to play golf, play mahjong, play Farmville, have her hair done, hang out with my dad, travel. Plus, it’s time for me to take charge of molding my son into the kind of person I want him to be. Time for me to prepare baon for my husband, coffee in the morning, dinner at night. Time for me to focus on homework and school projects. Time for me to have a flexible schedule where I can allot more time for the people I care about.

It’s something I want. And I want it enough to give it a try. And I’m keeping my fingers, toes, arms, legs and eyes crossed that I will succeed, and that this will be the start of a better life for all of us.

I’ve been enviously following blogs of successful Filipina WAHMs since early this year, and I must say that they have played a big part in influencing my decision, without them even knowing it. Among the WAHM/Mompreneurs, my favorites are Dainty Mom and OC Mom In Manila. I keep telling myself that if they can do it, I can do it too, and I’ll never know until I try. So this is officially my first step towards “giving it a try”, my leap of faith, me reaching for the stars. Sabi nga nila, lakas loob lang naman ang kailangan sa simula. You just have to hope you have skills and/or talents to keep you afloat, and I’d like to think that I do have what it takes to make it.

Besides, like I told my husband, if it doesn’t work out, then we go into Plan B and I look for another job. But for now, this is, as they say, it. Ball’s in my court. Let’s do this, Universe.

Oh by the way, I’m not pregnant. I just wasn’t sure how to start this post.

My husband is grinding his teeth, and I can’t sleep.

It was insanely hot today and our entire family spent most of the day holed up in my mom’s air-conditioned room watching New Girl and snacking on chips and juice.

I’ve got a really important announcement that I’ll be making very soon. It’s something I am really excited about, and I’m just making sure I tell my family and close friends first before posting it online. I don’t want to put myself in a sticky situation where they find out first from my blog and not from me.

I’m really trying my best to make Sunday Mass a regular habit. We got to go today to the 7:30PM mass in the village parish. I have to be honest though, I had a tough time understanding what the priest was saying because he was sort of eating his words. His homily also did not make much of an impression, and the most striking portion in my opinion was when he said “Liars go to Hell!”

That statement was of course followed by a moment of silence.

The parish announcements portion had to be the highlight of my day. It went something like “All the household help in our village are invited to attend a mass in celebration of St Joseph The Worker. Please feel free to bring your cleaning tools for blessing.”

Mr C, the kiddo and I spent a good two minutes giggling, thinking about our maids going to mass with mop, broom and vacuum cleaner in hand, ready to be blessed. Kinda weird, if you ask me. Has anyone ever done that? Have their cleaning tools blessed I mean? I’d love to hear from anyone who’s done that before. How different has your cleaning experience become? Seriously. I’d like to know!

It’s past midnight and I’ve got work tomorrow, and I’m still up. Good luck to me trying to never be tardy again!

Because my (mom’s) beloved electric oven is now back from the dead and functioning like new again, I’ve been able to rekindle my love for baking. While some (like my mom) find it boring, baking, for me, is a relaxing way to spend an afternoon or evening at home. I love how the house smells so yummy whenever I pop something into the oven. Baking is such an exact science that it helped me get over my fear of the kitchen. Since I had to carefully time and measure everything, I could rely on my recipe not to fail me, and that helped me gain confidence in my culinary skills. After pleasing everyone’s palettes with one sweet treat after the next, I started to experiment with cooking, and I can proudly say that I am now able to feed my family, although my selection is still pretty limited. But at least I’m trying, and I’m eager to learn, and it looks as if this cooking thing looks promising for me.

Over the past week, since I’ve been spending more time at home, I’ve been able to make my first batch of Red Velvet Cupcakes, Vanilla Cupcakes, and really yummy Cream Cheese Frosting. As I write this, I’m surrounded by the smell of freshly baked Banana Bread, something that’s been a hit for me every time I serve it. I’m seriously thinking about turning this hobby into a business. I enjoy it, and (I’d like to think) I’m good at it, so why not right? Of course, I’d like to take some baking and pastry courses , decorating classes, and whatever other learning opportunities I can get my hands on. Earlier this year I met a home baker in Cavite City who’s only been in the business for a couple of years, but has already accomplished so much. The best part is she got to do all that while being able to spend time with her family. And she’s never attended a baking class in her life. Sounds like I can do it then, if you ask me. As always, I’m over thinking and over analyzing everything, but then if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be me. *Sigh*

I’m excited for the future. Something tells me mine is gonna be sweet and sugarcoated.

This week, I got a glimpse into what life would be as a stay at home mom. I must say, if someone told me five years ago that I had to quit working and start doing this, I’d have probably thrown a hissy fit. Back then, work was all I knew. I was a new mom who was stuck at home throughout pregnancy and my son’s first year. I felt helpless, trapped, and unfulfilled. Fast forward to today, and here I am, missing work, manning the fort, while my mom takes care of my grandfather who’s in the hospital for some procedures. I never thought that running a household would be this tiring. And I honestly am still pretty clueless as to what I will be serving my family for dinner. But I really am having fun, and I’m enjoying my time with my little guy. I’m glad I get to bring him to school and pick him up after, and that we do homework in the afternoon instead of after dinner so we have time to watch cartoons before bed. I get to bake nice cupcakes and prepare home cooked meals for us. If I had a little more time, I’d probably start cleaning our room.

It’s pretty difficult though that I’m missing so many days of work. When I’m at the office I pretty much need to catch up on everything I’ve set aside. Plus I don’t get any pay on my absent days because my leave credits aren’t coming in til April when I hit the one year mark with my current employer. And while this whole stay at home thing is really looking good to me at the moment, I must say that money will be a bit of a concern if we were to rely solely on the Husband’s income. Meaning, we’ll need to start lessening our expenses, which to me sounds rather heartbreaking.  Doable, but heartbreaking.

Then again, there’s always that small window of hope, the opportunity to freelance or put up a small home business. It makes me nervous though, the thought of not having my own steady, monthly income. On the other hand, doesn’t every mom dream of having all the time in the world to spend with their kids, being able to run their households themselves, being able to be a true wife and mom? That is the very reason why I moved to a job close to home, to buy myself that extra time. Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and now that I’ve already gotten that job that’s close to home, this window opened up and let me peek into the life of a work at home mom (I say work at home because I don’t think I can survive without at least trying to earn a little extra money to add to our household income). Ugh. So many things to wonder about on all of a sudden.

In the meantime, I’ve just decided that we’ll be having spaghetti for dinner, and I should take the ground beef out of the freezer already if I want it to thaw on time. Postponing my pondering for another day.

Today I am faced with the harsh truth that I suffer from a yucky skin disease called eczema. It runs in my family, and having had ultra sensitive skin all my life, I knew I had it coming.

I’m guessing it’s a combination of bad eating habits, a shift in weather, stress, and my cocktail of cosmetics and beauty products that triggered the first spot to emerge last Christmas. Since then, not only has it grown, but it’s sprouted friends in other places including my face. Sigh.

Must schedule a visit to the derma ASAP.

My poor eczema-fied neck 🙁