One of my fears as a mom is that my son might find himself rejected or disliked by other kids. It isn’t because I feel that my child is unlikable. It’s more because he is an only child, and for a long time he has been more comfortable interacting with adults than with other kids. I’m lucky with this kid, though. He’s friendly, outgoing and adaptable. Over the time he’s spent in school he has managed to make a lot of friends. We both have, actually, as I have also started enjoying my time chatting with the ladies these kids call mommy.
Worrying about your child being rejected is normal for any parent, I think. It was something that I was preparing myself for, in case we had to deal with it. What I wasn’t expecting was the possibility of my child being on the other side of the situation. I didn’t realize that it was possible for other kids to feel rejected by my son. Not intentionally, of course. Kids will choose to hang out with the ones they feel are fun to be around, and not with the intention of leaving others out. But well, in forming these little groups, someone may inevitably be left out.
And again, I feel I am lucky with this one. He didn’t realize at first that he was unknowingly alienating another kid. Once we talked to him about it, though, and explained that the other child felt sad about not being included in their play group, he immediately decided to adjust. In fact, in his list of things to do for the week, he even added an extra space for that kid’s name on his playdate invite list. I am lucky with this one because he is friendly, outgoing and adaptable. He is understanding and compassionate, too. And so are the kids that he chooses to have around him in his circle of friends. I’m happy that he chose wisely, and I’m happy that they also have chosen to be his friend.
Have you had any issues on acceptance and rejection with your children? I’d love to read your stories.
I was a shy-type kid, boring daw ako kasama kasi I seldom talk. But I’ve outgrown it na. hahaha…Kaya nga sana di namana sa akin ng daughter ko yun. Sana Ms. Friendship sya just like his daddy. But I agree that kids will learn their social skills in time, that is based on my experience.
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I did have that fear of rejection but like you I also feel very lucky that I’ve been blessed with a friendly daughter.
It goes to show that you have raised him well to be the friendly and compassionate boy that he is today! My son has not had the chance to interact with a lot of kids, sadly because there aren’t many in our area, mostly are bigger kids. But I hope I can raise him to be as friendly as Little MrC!
You have raised him well and you’re reaping the rewards. It’s nice to know that he’s doing his best to make others who feel left out feel they belong. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
I’m not an only child but I’ve been rejected a lot of times. Maybe because of my strong personality that may come to others negatively. So I guess it’s not about being a solo kid or not, it’s basically on how people perceive you. But yeah, having an unica hija, scared din ako na baka mahirapan siya to fit in kasi sanay siya being in the limelight. I’m glad lang na so far, hindi pa naman nagyayari sa kanya yun. If ever man, I hope kayanin niyang malagpasan. After all, I’m here lang naman for her.
You being there for her is gonna make all the difference, dear! 🙂 Sana she never has to experience that. But I’m sure she’ll come out of it strong if she ever does.
I am an only child and I always had this fear of rejection. I experienced it with “friends” and it was really painful. I guess hindi mo talaga maiiwasan yan – school, church, family, friends. But what’s important is how one would be able to cope with, stand up, and overcome. You’ll get tough after the battle! You have one great boy, and you are one great mom for guiding him so well. 🙂
What a good little boy you have! 🙂 I should try to observe how my boy plays with his classmates next time.
The fear of rejection. We all have that. And i agree, it’s ten times more painful if it happened to your kid/s. If only we can protect them from everything no. But yeah, proper guidance is the key. 🙂
My son is also only child in our house and he is the first apo he is super spoiled and gets all the attention, even with my relatives he gets all the attention, when it comes to school I must say that he is also one of the favorites that is why I am also worried what if someday he may be rejected by somebody else if nasanay siya that he is the center of attention. There were a times that he was been rejected in his early years because he speaks in english kaya ngayun taglish na lang siya :-). Now as much as possible I want him to be more sociable and masanay sa mga ibang environment para he can adapt easily.
Yeah rejection can be very painful for a child. That’s how insecurities start sometimes, and people carry that till they grow old. You’re blessed to have a sensitive child. 🙂
I know! I’m really happy that Little MrC knows what to do in sensitive situations. Super lucky!
I really like reading ur posts. I learn a lot and sometimes, it’s great to know that other mommies (like u) have the same fears as I have. I thought, OA lng ako. Hehe! 🙂
Hahaha don’t worry, I also feel too OA to function sometimes. But we can’t help it, eh! Aww so glad you like visiting my blog, Donna. 🙂
my son is an only child as well and he is the only kid back home. he only gets to “play” with other kids when we go visit his cousins. though this is one of the things that i would want to prevent from happening with my son so i try to set up play dates whenever i can just so he can have interactions with other kids his age, too.. i just hope that he won’t feel rejection once he grows older but then again, we have a cruel society these days….
I totally agree with you, we can’t dictate what society does eh. But at the same time, I really make it a point to get to know my kid’s friends and even their parents. I feel this helps somehow. I still sort of get to shield him from the bad apples.
Well, my Dandre used to be rejected by other kids who only understands the Filipino language. Dandre during preschool only knows English. But later on, we talked to him in Tagalog and learned how to speak the native tongue. Now he’s the pasimuno of kalokohan in his class. Kakaloka! 🙂
Hahaha! How cute! Your kids look perfectly well-rounded, and I feel that it’s because you are an amazeballs mother, Louise! 🙂
I have the same fear! But I think, they will learn social skills in time. Ofcourse, we just have to be there to support them in any case they can experience rejection especially when they are still too young to cope with it.
This is so true, they really learn to cope when they begin to understand who they are and what their strengths are. That’s why it’s so important that we guide them as they start to learn. 🙂
Aww that’s one of my fears, too, yung my son being rejected because I was bullied once. But your son acted more maturely than my adults I know ha! Good job!
Awww I’m so sad to hear that you were once bullied. But kudos to you for coming out of it strong! 🙂 I’m sure your son will do great, too, especially with someone like you to guide him. 🙂
Being alienated is really not a good feeling. It’s good that Tristan is mature enough to handle the situation. 🙂
I have a nephew and social skills is definitely something that they will adapt to in time. Rejection does come with it but it is honestly what makes them grow and make their choices even more the wiser 🙂
I guess acquiring social skills would be something they get to learn in time. They’ll have their fair share of rejections but it’s part of what makes them stronger.
I don’t children yet so i can’t say nothing ill i have expireince