This is my second post about the #BetterMe session that I recently attended with Coach Pia, The One Core and the SoMoms about strengthening and developing better family habits this summer. Part one is here.
Before anything, I want to share what I had for lunch during our session.
I love that the Dads, Saisaki and Kamayan restaurant chains are run by a family. This is such a family place to be, after all. That explains why these restaurants do celebrations so well. I love how Mara Villavicencio, now the Managing Director of Dads Ultimate Buffet, told the story of how the restaurant started in Megamall 20 years ago, and how it has innovated over the years. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by their new offerings that include shakes and juices, plus Milo for kids, oysters, a seafood grill, Chinese food and other Asian selections. In my opinion, all that’s missing now is a branch in the south! Haha.
Now, back to the session. The reason why I decided to write this part separately from my first post is because building better routines and habits for the family is something that I know I need to work on, not just over the summer, but for the entire year. I tend to completely wear myself out with overloaded days filled with family time, celebrations, errands, homework and review time, cooking, writing jobs, blogging, and all sorts of other activities. And then I end up with a series of totally unproductive days where I’m burned out and unable to do anything but play video games, blog-hop and watch movies on TV. And then things pick up again, and the cycle goes on and on.
A question, moms and dads, and tell me the truth. Who’s more excited about summer being so close ahead, you or your kids? Between the kiddo and I, I’d say it’s me. Just look back at my blog posts and Instagram feed over the last few weeks, and you’ll see how truly stuffed our first quarter was. I need to learn to pace myself, not just for my sake, but for the boys too. We need to develop a good flow of activities – daily, weekly and monthly – and I know that I should take charge of this. Thanks to the #BetterMe session, I now have a pretty good idea of where to start.
Start with zero doubt in your mind that you are capable of deciding what is best for you and your family.
This is where to start. You need to empower yourself to take charge of building the best routine for your family and household by knowing that you can do it. And, as Coach Pia says, it is in proper planning that this self-doubt is eliminated. Doubt happens when you are exhausted because you either have no plan or have over-planned. So, by believing in yourself and going ahead and planning well, you take care of yourself in the process and eliminate your self doubt.
Second, get organized. Map out your year by quarters, then plot out all of your major activities, celebrations and family events.
Coach Pia gave us all pie charts where we could write the various activities we had in each quarter. Plotting it out this way helps you see just how loaded a month is compared to other months within the same quarter. Just the same, you can also compare one quarter to the others in the year, and there you’ll see when your peak and lean seasons are. Then you’ll know when you have time to spare for things like general cleaning, maybe a garage sale, a vacation, or whatever. It will also help you balance out your major tasks and activities for your family, your personal stuff, social life, work and school. Assess each month or quarter, and if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, simplify. Focus on making the quality of the time spent worthwhile for everyone.
Set aside recreational time for the family.
Find time to play games, have a picnic, or simply share a meal together with your loved ones. Not only does this give you time to bond and strengthen your family ties, it also gives you a valuable opportunity to gather data from your family members. If you pay close attention, and listen instead of talk, you’ll discover the things that they want to do and where they want to go, and it will help you in your planning as well. Try to plan a unique activity that you can do with each of your children and your spouse. These, too, are great opportunities for you to gather more data. Remember, don’t just talk. Listen. And be receptive too.
Evaluate and be open to change.
Take the time to think about how you have been spending your time with your family. Also think about the activities and events that you have planned out for yourself and for the group. Have these been working out for you? If your answer is yes, then great. Keep on keeping on. If you feel that there is room to change, then adjust. Be open to change, and know that it could be for the best.
Finally, don’t forget to set aside time and energy for yourself.
Time and energy, okay, not just one or the other. There have been times when I would schedule a foot spa for myself and fall asleep halfway through it. Yes, I made time, but I forgot to allocate energy, obviously. An unless you have both, chances are you won’t really enjoy your me-time. Remember, at the very start we said that you need to take care of yourself too, and that exhaustion brigs about self-doubt? Well, that’s why giving yourself a break is important. See? It is a cycle.
Now, excuse me while I go sort out our messy schedule.
Thank you again to The SoMoms and Your Brand Story for inviting me to this event. Thanks also to The One Core and Coach Pia for making amazing sessions like this available to mommies like me. Also to Unilab, for supporting activities that aim to help us become better versions of ourselves. And finally, to the people behind Dad’s, Saisaki and Kamayan for hosting us and treating us to such a yummy lunch. Thank you.