After picking up my son from school today, I literally parked the car, sent him to the bathroom to take a shower and sat down at my computer. You see, something’s bothering me, something urgent. Not life-threatening or world-moving urgent, but definitely mommy urgent. I need your advice.
My son asked his friend to buy him an ice cream cone
When I got to school, the kiddo was at the pickup area eating an ice cream cone. Some of his classmates get sent money when they go to school, and they like to go to the cafeteria after class to get snacks. I know this because there have been a couple of times in the past when my son told me that his friend bought him a treat.
Thing is, my son doesn’t have an allowance just yet. MrC and I talked about it, and we decided together that we can give him small amounts of money when he asks, but not a regular weekly allowance. In the beginning, I thought it might be a good idea to give him maybe a hundred Pesos at the start of each week and see how it goes from there. When we discussed, though, MrC pointed out that the kid gets a packed lunch and recess too, and that it might be a little too much to send him money regularly. So we agreed to only give him cash if and when he asked. Which he never did.
I asked if his classmate offered to treat him, or if he asked for money to buy the ice cream. Unfortunately, he asked. He said that he just really wanted to buy ice cream. I told him that he should have asked me for money this morning, and that I would have given it to him if he asked.
But wait, there’s more
As we were walking to the car, I saw that he had 20 Pesos in his pocket, which he supposedly won in a game. That kind of alarmed me because I don’t like the idea of him taking money from other kids. I explained to him that it’s not right to take things from his classmates, especially money. He apologized and said that he understood. I also said that I would send money to pay his classmate back for the ice cream, and that he should return the 20 Pesos to whoever gave it to him. He agreed to do it.
I feel like this is all my fault
At the end of it all, if I had just given him some money for himself, then he wouldn’t need to ask from other people. Were we wrong in our decision not to give him an allowance? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t given money by my parents until I was in the 3rd grade. That’s not until next year for my son. But whatever it is, I really am bothered, not because of what he did, but because I feel like I failed him. He couldn’t get that ice cream cone for himself because I failed to give him money for it. I don’t think I was considerate enough of his needs and his wants.
At the same time, MrC and I want to teach him discipline. We want him to learn that in order to get what he wants, he needs to earn it. If I had given in and started sending him money to school, would that have been spoiling him? I think that MrC and I need to talk about this and rethink our decision.
Am I overreacting?
What would you do, mommies?