It’s been two months since the wedding and there are days when it still feels weird being married. I’m not sure how to sign my name, and when I introduce myself I forget that I now have a new surname. To a certain extent, nothing but my name and marital status has changed. We still live in the same house we’ve lived in for the last few years. We sleep on the same bed in the same cluttered room. We still wake up to our son squeezing himself in between us at dawn. Everything is pretty much the same on the surface.
But there are also some changes that we are only realizing now, like how we should be seriously working towards our future, how we should really try to see things the same way, and how basically everything we own is now shared property. And sometimes we get into arguments simply because we don’t understand them completely. Sometimes we just try not to get worked up over something because we want to avoid an argument.
Suppressing emotions and biting back harsh words was never something I was good at, but now I I have to try harder. It’s ironic how it gets pretty awkward sometimes (at least for me), when I think the last time we felt awkward around each other was back in high school. Sigh. Maybe I’m just hormonal and things will all make sense in the morning.