Ah, newlywed bliss. Would that it could last forever. I always feel extra cheesy and lovey dovey after coming from a wedding. I think it’s a girl thing. Or maybe it’s a wife thing. It’s definitely a MrsC thing.
Our friends and relatives are (finally) tying the knot one by one. We went to a wedding last month and another just yesterday. We have another one happening soon, and a few more after that. So much love in the air. I lovette!
Being the old married couple that I feel we are (I mean hello, 3 years of marriage, 6 years of living together, 8 years as parents and a total of 15 years as a couple), we most definitely have had our share of heavenly highs and hellish lows. Even so, because none of my siblings or super close friends have gotten married yet, I’ve never had the chance to share any marriage wisdom at a wedding. I realized this last night.
So, I have decided to share what I’ve learned about love, relationships and marriage here on the blog just because I can. Also because these are things that we have tried and tested throughout the years, and they have worked out well for us so far.
Here are my 7 tips for a happy married life
1. Happy wife = happy life. Happy husband = happy wife = happy life
99% of the time, MrC gives me what I want. Whether it’s an ice cream sundae late at night or a new Samsung Galaxy Tab (yay, thank you, MrC!), if he can find a way to get it for me, he will. Happy wife, check. But see, it doesn’t start and end with him spoiling me. Ladies, we have to do our part, too.
Breakfast for two. #CornedBeef especially requested by the sick boy @paulvincentcuyugan. A photo posted by MrsC | Patricia Cuyugan (@mrspcuyugan) on
I firmly believe that your husband will spoil you if you deserve to be spoiled. And really, it isn’t hard to keep them happy. Surprise them with their favorite meal. Let them go hang out with the boys every once in a while. Let them pick the movie or TV show to watch for a change. When your husband is happy, he will want to make you happy, too. And if you’re happy, you should want to make him happy, too. Then comes the happy life.
2. Keep a scorecard of good things, not of bad ones.
One thing that is sure to trigger an argument between MrC and I is when one of us brings up the other’s mistakes or shortcomings. It’s hard not to be a nag, and it’s hard not to say I told you so when you turn out to be right. But sometimes reverse psychology is in order.
What I mean is, there are ways of saying things that resonate better. Option A: “Hey I don’t like it when you forget to flush the toilet after you pee”. Option B “Hey, I really appreciate it when you flush the toilet after peeing. Please keep doing that, ok?” See? Choose wisely.
3. It’s okay to go to sleep angry. But start tomorrow with a hug and a kiss.
Unless you are the type who doesn’t mind arguing until the break of dawn, I say just go to sleep angry and allow yourself to cool your head. Just make sure that as soon as you wake up, brush it off and make peace. Hug it out, kiss it out, or do whatever it is you do to make peace in the morning.
4. Forgive and forget. Or if you really can’t forget, fake it til you make it.
Let me make one thing clear, this doesn’t mean lying to your spouse or pretending to be ok when you aren’t. It only means that you should forgive wholeheartedly, and move on from whatever issue you guys just overcame. It’s not easy to get over hurt. Believe me, I know. But when you commit to forgiveness, moving forward comes with it.
Take as long as you need to forget, but while you’re at it there’s no need to keep bringing up the issue. Sometimes all you need to do to really get over the hurt is to get over yourself and start seeing things from a different perspective.
5. Be embarrassingly silly together.
MrC and I have been together for so long that he’s had to wash my butt after pooping (before an operation, I was strapped on to an IV tube, okay?) and I’ve had to cut his crazy toe nails more than once. We use the bathroom at the same time, and no it’s not for sexy time. We basically have nothing to hide from each other, so much so that we can be 100% silly together.
We dance, we sing, we meow at each other, even. We fart in each others’ faces as a joke. True story. Sometimes we act like even bigger kids than our child, but that’s what keeps our marriage fun. Guess it helps that we basically grew up together, so we know and remember how much fun it was being carefree kids together.
6. Be on the same page.
Being on the same page, for us, means heading towards the same goal. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we employ the same means, but we do aim for the same outcome. Basically, it doesn’t matter if you’re on different paragraphs, as long as you’re on the same page. Makes sense?
7. Put your spouse first, even for just one day out of the week.
It’s not easy finding time to put your spouse first. That’s the truth. After the wedding, it usually feels like there’s the two of you, and then there’s the rest of the world. Well, it didn’t work that way for us. Even on our wedding day there was Little MrC to think about. And realistically speaking, once you become parents, that’s how it’s gonna be.
As a compromise, make one day husband or wife day. For just one day out of the week, put his or her needs first. Trust me, your kids will be fine with it. They may even cooperate with you and join in on daddy or mommy day. And I promise you, your spouse will appreciate the extra attention, or the extra hour of sleep.
After 15 years of being with the same person whose mood changes just as quickly as mine can, I now believe that newlywed bliss can last forever. It just needs a bit of work. It’s hard but not impossible. You both just have to want it and work on it. No. Matter. What.
How do you keep the newlywed bliss alive in your marriage?
I love the list! We’re going on 15 years as well and I love how honest and practical your suggestions are.
Great tips Mrs C! Some people are still stuck with the notion that it’s an instant “happy every after” when you get together with your special one. But no, it takes a a whole lot of effort from each other to actually make the relationship work! 🙂
Great tips! Sometimes nga as parents we really do prioritize the kids over our spouses. But I’m really trying to put my hubby’s needs first, then I know he will make me happy if he’s happy, then the kids will have a happy mommy!
I love your tips and 15 years of a relationship, highly means a successful one. You definitely will have more years to come.
Unfortunately my negative personal experience and the observations of what has been happening to the couples around me made me a little cynical about marriage. Now your post makes me think about it from another angle. That maybe, just maybe, there are successful and happy marriages, too which is so great and admirable. You are lucky.
Newly-wed bliss is sometimes forgotten when you become a parent. Thanks for these very helpful reminders. I really love Tip Nos. 5 and 7.
Good tips! I like the husband/wife day because my husband, I think, needs that. He’s complaining a lot lately that I always put the kids first before him. I’d have to schedule a day just for him. 🙂
I love that formula of yours! I love to see a couple who loves each other. Very inspiring post!
I guess it’s really important to compromise so everybody would be happy in a relationship.
These are really good tips! I’ve been married for three years already and we pretty much follow those tips you shared. This can be a good reminder for all the married couples out there who tends to fall on the routine and forget that they are husband and wife first 🙂
Hay nako Patty! Same tayo! I’ve learned so much about relationships and how to make one work. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years na (4 years married, 8 years bf/gf). I get asked all the time how we did it. We’ve been through hell and back talaga. As in the lowest of lows. But we still managed to get back together and make it work. Lalo na now we’re married. Fights and arguments aren’t the same diba! You can’t make him go! He lives with you na! Hahaha. But we’ve made our marriage blissful that arguments and fights don’t break us down to the ground anymore. 🙂
Great tips! I definitely agree on the going to sleep angry part. I wish I learned that it’s okay to do that a long time ago. Haha!
You had me at #1! So true. When my husband is happy and confident, everything else follows. When his confidence is shaken, it’s like domino effect.
Awww.. you and your hubby looks so sweet in your photos. I love the wedding rehearsal the most. Dont’ we just love funny guys? Great tips you shared, too. I really believe in number one tip. We should always make each other happy no matter what. It’s what makes the relationship going. If one of the parties isn’t happy, that’s when the problem occurs. Cheers for a blissful marriage MrsC! <3
Love all of your tips! This post couldn’t have come at a better timing because I’m currently mad at my SO haha and it’s quite hard because we’re in an LDR. I need to keep your tips in mind!
Thank you for this. I am a new mum and a new “wife” (because we’re not yet married) so we’re on this adjustment period. Most of the time I want to kick him out of the house. Hehehehehe.. But reading this, parang alam ko na where to start so we could have a peaceful home at hindi ako naasar talo lagi. 🙂
Newlywed bliss lasts because we make it last! That’s what I learned from your post and it’s soo true! Marriage, I agree, is hard work. It won’t be fun and fulfilling if it isn’t. Love this post!
Hello
This is a very good read for newlywed couples. I especially like number 1, now that you have said it, I think you have a point. I learn something new every time I visit your blog ; )
xoxo
MrsMartinez
Awww na touch naman ako! So glad I was able to share some marriage wisdom with you. 🙂
I really love those tips you gave, when I gets married I Will need this to live happily.
Glad you find these tips helpful! These are what really work for me in my marriage.
This is a great read! 🙂 Very helpful tips to keep the flame burning through the years. Thanks for posting this. Check out my blog too for my random musings and food trips. Thank you 🙂
http://www.teampatlou.wordpress.com
Thank you, Lou!
Okay, too early for me to cry?!! *sniff sniff* I agree with # 4!!!! Besides, it’s tiring na to fight over nonsense things, right? Forgive, forget, and just make love, ‘erday!
Mga iyakin, unite! Awww! I miss you!
I miss you more!! 🙂
This is soo true..very helpful and encouraging. The way you explained these things make them attainable. Thanks for this patty! May this inspire and help keep marriages intact and sweet. 😀
Yes, I really hope it inspires married couples (old and new) to keep on keeping on. 🙂
If only I could put a million times up for this post, trust me, I would. I am not married, but I have been in a relationship for a long time now. These tips are really really helpful. I stumbled upon your blog and I am instantly a fan.
Now, for more back reading…
Thank you, I’m so touched! I visited your blog, too, and title palang, I love it na! 🙂
Great post! Lovett. You guys are soooo cute together. Talagang MFEO! :-*
Oh my gosh Jane, you know you and Kap are one of my benchmarks for a lasting, happy, forever relationship, right? Hugs!